The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
