im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize