Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
