Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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