I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
