i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
