...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
