the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
