Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
