Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
