There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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