You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
