I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
