is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Alive.
So much puke
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
