i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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