I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
