You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
