4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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