As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
