FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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