Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
