I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i think i just lost a toe
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
