Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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