Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
