if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
