As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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