Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
