I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
love makes seman taste better
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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