you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
