my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
