My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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