They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I stole a fireplace last night.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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