So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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