Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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