he looks like a really good dad on facebook
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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