So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
im on a boat
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