why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize