Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
