Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
