Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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