ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
