What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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