My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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