you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
