i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
