Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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