Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
