My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
