And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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