i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize