If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
