i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
