Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
