The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
