she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
