His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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