ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
