God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
