she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
